We've all heard them... the annoying questions and comments about homeschooling. Questions like, "How will your kids get the socialization they need to become properly functioning adults?" and, "What makes you think you are qualified to teach?" Comments like, "No one hires homeschooled graduates, employers don't take them seriously!" and even, "Isn't it illegal to keep your kids home all the time?" I've been told, "You have no right to homeschool them. You owe it to your kids to let them decide where they want to go to school." The older generations seem to have some of the worse comments, in my experience. "Kids need to experience drugs and bullies to become stronger adults," (WHAT!?) and, "Keeping your kids home to learn is child abuse," are all things I have seen, heard, and been told. I am going to touch up on some of the most common misconceptions regarding homeschooling parents and kids, because, as you can see, some of the things (pretty much all of the things) people who disagree with the idea of teaching from home say are just plain whack.
Now, keep in mind, I have a pretty big history of switching schools, and school types. Just to give you an idea...
Preschool to third grade: Homechool/charter school, classes three times a week for a few hours.
Fourth grade: All home school.
Fifth grade through sixth grade: Standard public school.
Seventh and eight grade (middle school): Full time charter school/college prep school.
Freshman year: Standard public high school.
Sophomore: Two different standard public high schools, then independent study/charter school where I took classes only a couple days a week for a few hours. That is where I graduated from.
Why so many changes in schooling? Oh, goodness... divorce, moving over and over, student bullies, teacher bullies... It was so bad, that I started going to the independent study program because I was coming home in tears every single day, begging to not have to go back. I went from Honor Roll student to miserable blob, absolutely despising the public school system, fearing her life because of death threats from other students, and because teachers wouldn't take those threats seriously at all. Never mind the on campus rape, students held at gunpoint, teacher taking inappropriate photos of female students, all that year... and this was at once of the highest rated high schools in California. When I started independent study, I was so much happier. Teachers were less overwhelmed, and happier as well! They were all just wonderful. I did all my work on my own at home, except for Spanish and Biology, which I had classes for twice a week for about an hour and a half each. I did have to see a teacher to look over my other main courses once a week for an hour. That was it. I also passed my California High School Exam with some of the highest scores the school had ever seen. I THRIVED. Now, with that said, there were definitely ways the school could have improved. The courses they had available, especially electives, were very minimal. They did work very hard at encouraging the students, and finding their unique skills, as well as forming a bond with the students and working with them to find a curriculum that suited them better. It's certainly a better option than basic public schooling, but I do not feel it's the best option. We all want the best, right?
As I have mentioned, though, many do not feel homeschool is the best. Usually, when you ask them why, it is because of all the negative myths they have heard from other skeptical parents, or even on the news.
I'm gonna sound a little less serious than I usually do here, because people like that make me sassy, and I am going to be totally real with you here.
Anyway, lets look at one of the first things people question when they hear those oh-so-dreadful words, "I am going to homeschool the kids."
1) Kids will not get the socialization they need. This comment is one of the most common ones you will hear, or already do hear. It's also one of the most incorrect ones. There are hundreds of ways to get your kids socialized. Sign them up for a class like martial arts, music, dance, anything. Get them in a sports team. Look for volunteer opportunities for them to do. Set up play dates. Let them make friends at the park. There are usually groups on Facebook for local homeschooling parents, and these groups often organize social functions together. If you can't find one, start one! It's okay if it starts off small. Your kids will benefit more from having a small group of real friends over 35 acquaintances. It also allows the opportunity to bounce off ideas with other parents, find new materials, make friends with the parents, and the kids can greatly benefit from learning how to socialize with others from a wide variety of ages as opposed to strictly kids their age like standard classes do. And, lets be real... are kids who are abusive or socially awkward any better examples of socialized kids? Yes, many bullies have emotional issues going on, and awkward children can be awkward for a variety of reasons, but public school won't always fix that. If these kids are still mean or shy in high school, then obviously, public school didn't fix it. That isn't a convincing argument for public socialization. If your child is well behaved, then you may not want your kids around other misbehaving kids all the time. Honestly, it's stressful for many kids to be part of.
2) You will not have the patience to homeschool them. This one throws me off a bit. I know of some parents who have been told that, but I also know of a lot of parents who say that about themselves. Now, I am going to rebut that with a question... Patience for what?
Here is the thing about that. If you see homeschooling as strictly giving worksheets and textbooks, basically what public schools do, and you don't see your child being able to focus on those, and you will drive yourself crazy trying to get them to do their homework... then yeah, no patience for that. We are not meant to conform. Conforming makes things difficult. That is not what homeschooling is about. It's not supposed to be like public school. It's not supposed to be about forcing your kids to do homework, obeying teachers, conforming to strict schedules... Especially if they are young kids. Kids pay attention better if they are having fun and are frequently allowed to play, and be creative. What is there to be "patient" about with your kids playing and learning? If it's because they are loud and obnoxious, well, guess what? Your teacher will have even less patience. If you don't have patience for teaching your own child, why do you think someone with a group of 30+ they have never met before will have more? Do you have patience for frequent calls from their teachers or principle because they didn't follow their rules, or were late, or skipped, or wore shorts a tad too small, or weren't paying attention? Do you have the patience to try and hunt down the issues based on what third parties are telling you? Do you have the patience to deal with a child who is failing school because they feel unmotivated? Do you have the patience to deal with making sure a bully actually gets punished and made to stop bullying your kid? Do you have patience for arbitrary rules?
Please, remember... many teachers go into the job with the purest intentions of shaping the kids for the future. However, they get a lot of the students with parents who feel like they do not have the patience to teach, and they get 30 of them, at least, at once. These teachers get overwhelmed, and when they do, so do the kids, and when they both get overwhelmed, so do you, because you have to deal with the aftermath. You are the parent. You are the one who knows your kids. If you are using entertaining and interactive methods that you and your child are enjoying together, then you will not have to find a ton of patience. That is one of the biggest benefits to homeschool.
3) You cannot afford to homeschool. Now, I understand, there are exceptions to this. Not everyone has a decent source of income because times are tough. Single parents do not always have strong family support to watch kids while they work, and daycare is freaking expensive. However, there are alternatives to look into and consider. One of the benefits to homeschooling is that it all works on your schedule. You do not have to be an 8-3 schooling family. You don't have to have a particular schedule at all! If you are a married homeschooling couple, if possible (and if needed), one of you work a night shift job. If you feel like that may be too overwhelming, there is no shame in breaking the educational times into different times so that one parent can work while the other is with the kids, then trade off. There may be less "family time," but having your kids in school plus doing homework from 8-5 doesn't exactly leave room for family time, either. As far as single parents go, I cannot give 100% surefire advice on that. My mother, with four kids, cleaned houses and sold on eBay for a living, using by grandmother as a babysitter, when needed. Some parents are taking to sewing, baking, and catering as a profession. There are options, but since every situation is drastically different, it's up to you to do the math and see what works. I have met mothers who send their kids with another homeschooling parent and work out a payment deal with them. It's usually possible to find a way to homeschool on low income, you just have to figure out what you are willing to do and know what is possible (and again, every situation is different, so if you really do not feel it is possible, that's okay. Don't risk losing your house or something).
4) They need to be on a specific set schedule because the real world has schedules. *ahem* WRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG. Public school and full time jobs have set schedules. Your kid isn't in public school, so there goes half your problem. Your kid probably won't even have a full time job until they're well into college age, so there goes the other half. Colleges don't even have ones that strict as many allow you to choose what time of day you study, or even just let you view lessons online when you can. What schedules are we talking about? When your teen or young adult gets his or her first job, it's most likely going to be part time, and finding a part time job with a solid schedule is an uncommon blessing. They are usually, "We'll fit you in when needed," or, "It's a slow day, you can go home," OR, "We're understaffed and really busy, can you be here in twenty minutes?" Heck, your work schedule can change! Do not get your kids used to a particular schedule, unless they honestly do thrive on one. Some kids, especially ones with ADHD, Asperger's, etc do function better on a schedule, which is fine! However, what often happens is that if something unexpected happens, they can get overwhelmed. That's something that is quite based on the individual, though, which is great about homeschooling! Some kids need a "10:00 is when I study history, 11:00 is science, etc" type thing because it helps them stay on track and not forget anything. Others, like myself, do best with, "Well, these are my tasks and goals, I feel really curious about this particular thing right now, so I am going to focus on that because I am motivated and can retain the information better." The only real schedule the world has is night and day. The weather has no true schedule it follows, nor traffic, nor illness... anything can happen at any time, and it helps to be prepared to deal with random things being thrown at you so you know how to work around them. The methods are all up to you, based on how your child learns and functions, which can only be done by homeschooling.
5) Homeschooling is illegal. Yeah, no. Granted, every state has different laws, and some are more strict than others, but illegal? No. Maybe if you live in Germany, but not if you live in the U.S. However, as mentioned, every state is different with their laws. Some states do (unfortunately) make you follow a very strict curriculum and gain approval by the state (blugh), but others, like where I live, have very few regulations (yay, Arizona!). I most certainly do not know all the individual state laws, so you will have to look them up. I know here, you have to fill out a very basic form that basically just says, "Yeah, I am homeschooling" when they hit age six. As long as you teach them something that counts as math, science, social studies, history, and English arts, you're good. There are no particular guidelines as to what defines those since there are thousands of things that can be defined as any number of those subjects. When your child graduates, you can have an official, certified diploma printed out, either a normal sized one for $30, or a "pocket" one for your wallet (great for showing at job interviews) for $10. It is that easy. That's Arizona law, though! Be sure to look up by county, since they can vary.
6) It is child abuse to keep your kid home all day. Sorry, I think it's worse to send my kids somewhere where they are subjected to bullies, made to feel stupid because they failed a test that really will not matter in the future, or feel like a loser because cliques don't want to talk to them because they are different. I think it's worse to force my kid to study what the world wants them to study instead of what makes them happy and confident. It is worse to make your kid feel like their struggles are always their fault and they deserve it instead of realizing that they simply have different needs.
7) Your child has every right to choose where they want to be schooled. Look, I get it. You want your kids to make decisions for themselves. Learn from consequence, be more confident, etc. I see where you are coming from, but here is the thing... kids are still kids. Yes, their voice matters. Yes, they should be encouraged to make decisions... but here is the thing. They should be encouraged to make educated decisions. A four-year-old is not going to have enough understanding of life to make a truly informed decision on schooling options. If I let my daughter choose, she would eat nothing but cookies all day. She is just about four. It does not matter how much I tell her, "That is bad for you, you will get sick, and you need to brush your teeth," because she does not understand the trials of obesity and tooth decay, she's a child. I have to put my foot down. I will continue to have to put my foot down with different things as they get older. That is okay to do. I repeat, that is okay to do. You are their parent. Even older kids will have difficulties because they often do not know what they even want to focus on, especially in places that teach only a handful of subjects. It is literally your job to protect them because they are too young and inexperienced to fully understand why you decide to homeschool them. That is why you hold their hand when you cross the street, whether they like it or not. That is why you give them medicine when they need it, if they like the taste or not. You may think those are extreme comparisons, but they aren't, because we are talking about how your child will be able to handle adulthood. That is a huge thing. That is the most important thing they need to learn. I cannot stress that enough. Do I think you should decide everything they learn? No. That is why I support homeschooling and unschooling, because they can choose the subjects themselves. I liked writing educational essays. I did not like writing poetry. I still hate poetry. I am almost 25 and still do not use poetry. Why was I forced to learn poetry for so many years!? My interests were ancient history, cryptozoology, astronomy, things like that. X-Files stuff. Those things have actually been my interest since about age six. I sometimes slacked in school because I was too busy reading about UFOs and genetic engineering (I kid you not) instead of studying about Shakespeare. Those things made me happy. I don't friggin use Shakespeare in my life. I felt dumb for failing tests on Hamlet, and made to feel dumb by teachers and finals, yet I knew more about the M-Theory than probably any other student (or even many teachers) in school, but that didn't matter. Screw me for not having an interest in an overly dramatic teen drama from hundreds of years ago.
Anyway, introduce your kids to different things, but do not take away their interests they naturally have. Encourage those. Heck, if it's that important to you that they learn all about something in particular, encourage them to look up any connections between their interest and the lesson you want. Columbus got way more interesting after I found out he reported a UFO sighting, I can tell you that much. It also helped me learn that public school is teaching very incorrect things about him. You can still allow your kids to make decisions on what they want to learn. That is still giving them power. After all, home resources have more subjects it can teach you than public school does. Another thing... your child will not have the power to say no in public school. They will have to learn, say, read, eat, and even wear what they are told to wear. They will not have power of choice at public school like they will at home, as long as you allow it. Public school teaches to follow authority (no matter what), schedules, and trends. That is not freedom of choice.
8) They will not be able to learn real political issues from home. Um, it's illegal in some areas for teachers to discuss political issues because it is too easy for them to slip political bias in their lessons. Allow your child to research issues from home, listen to the stories of different sides, and formulate conclusions. Do you really want a stranger giving an unsupervised political bias anyway?
9) They will not learn about other cultures and lifestyles at home. Considering that it's actually very frowned upon for students of various faiths to practice their faiths in school, I feel okay saying that school is not the way to learn about different cultures. Many kids are shamed for their beliefs. I was, and I know I am by far not the only one. Teachers shamed me hardcore for not making Christmas cards for teachers I never met. Text books often give drastic misrepresentations of religion, and can no way cover all sects and beliefs. Many want religion kept out of school anyway. There are many different resources for learning about various cultures. Cookbooks, movies, games, inventions, clothing, music, stories, festivals, museums, jewelry, friendship... these can all be used to teach different cultures. It's also way more fun to learn that way instead of reading poor summaries of a handful of lifestyles.
10) No one hires homeschool graduates. Very untrue. Homeschooled kids statistically graduate earlier and do better in college. They are actually quite sought after! They often have a stronger sense of responsibility and taking initiative since they are encouraged to self educate.
11) You are not qualified to homeschool. You know what teachers use? Curriculum given to them. Guidelines given to them. Answer sheets given to them. They do not come up with every single lesson plan from scratch, in most cases. Heck, it's against the law for them to do that, often times, because they have a strict set of lessons they have to give. Every state varies, but in general, teachers have support systems and are told what to teach. You can find support and answer sheets just as well as they can (and yes, I know many do come up with extra ways of teaching, but that is also something you can do!). There is a huge range of support out there, just like there is for teachers. And really, if you feel like the public school failed you, why have so much faith they will be better for your kids? Especially in a generation that people claim is far more spoiled and lazy than before?
Trust me, I have so much more I can say on pretty much all these subjects, but that will be very lengthy. Over time, I will elaborate in detail more on the individual subjects in different posts. My goal is to help you understand that you can do this. It's not as bad as it sounds.
What comments have you been told when you expressed your desire to homeschool? What was your answer?